January 15, 2013 § 2 Comments
It’s been a year and half since I moved to Melbourne. In this brief time, I have seen heartbreak, loneliness, challenges, joy, adventures, love and so much more.
I spent years trying to break out from the mold set out for me. I did. Successfully and Happily, not without its casualties though. I would never know if it was this rebel that led to heartbreak, or something else. I continue to be a disappointing child. In fact, I have raised the level of disappointment by falling in love with the most inappropriate boy. But I’m happy. I guess that’s the cost you pay.
I spent new year’s eve in a Temple at Kyoto. It wasn’t peaceful at all, contrary to what you might think. However I was surrounded by love. That makes me happy.
I’ve thinking of new challenges. I’ll be finishing my Psych Diploma this year. And I don’t want to pursue it further. Mostly because I have found new dreams. They mostly include more travel. I haven’t been to the other side of the world. I need to see it all. It’s on the recent trip to Japan I realized that traveling is the only thing I want to do, apart from reading books all day. So Work, Save and Travel it’s going to be. With a mortgage somehow 🙂
February 17, 2012 § Leave a comment
Sometimes I wonder if we only want things that we want, because we see them on tv or read about them. The fact that you think you love me, is it really love that you feel? Or is it just a name given to certain emotion that movies have taught you to feel and want?
Why is it that I can think I am in love with certain person and yet want to be touched by another? Doesn’t that mean there’s nothing called love? Or am I just being emo?
I’m reading this novel right now. And of course, like another other novel these days, there is a sex scene. Two people clinging to each other out of desperation of loneliness. One thinking he’s in love, other just wanting to be touched. It reminds me of me.
Since when I became the person who just wants to be touched and doesn’t want to hear the words. Since when it became more important to be wanted than to want? Why can’t I give in to words and be happy with them? Why do I crave the illicit? When did I become so immoral?
You try to give me words, I throw them back
You try to send me flowers, I close the door
You ask me what’s wrong, I walk out.
And you wait.
Why do you wait?
Why when I can give you nothing?
You seek comfort from me, and I seek it somewhere else.
Ah, the life.
Walk away. Leave me be. Let me be lost for a while.
For til I lose myself, I won’t find myself again.
July 2, 2011 § 4 Comments
Love is hard. Not because it involves kissing 100 frogs before you find your prince. Or because most of the times, that prince is already with his princess or likes princes rather than princesses. But because it always involves pain.
Not just when it ends. But even when you are with the person you are in love with. Every emotion is so intensified that silly things hurt you. Like a call not returned. A cancelled date. If it’s a normal relationship, you’ll take them in stride. But when in love, you always jump to worst conclusions. No wonder, one of the two start acting like a neurotic person.
And god forbid, if it ends. It’s as if someone just pierced your heart with a stake. over and over again. You see a happy couple and you burst in tears. You are watching a movie and you burst in tears. You become the person to be avoided. Your friends are scared to tell you about their new relationships.
And cause of all this is love.
So be careful when you fall in love. Retain some sense. Be careful that you are not being the neurotic of two. Trust in each other and in fate. If you belong together, you’ll end up together.
September 23, 2009 § 7 Comments
He loved her. Then he thought he didn’t. He met a new girl. He thought he was in love with her. But he wasn’t. Old girl cried. He went back to her. New one cried. He came back to her. Then he met another girl. he thought he was in love with her. And the circle continued.
His friend stayed behind and picked up the pieces. Old girl came and cried on his shoulder. He was in love with her. But he couldn’t tell her. He consoled her. He watched her fall. But he couldn’t warn her. He was a friend first, lover later.
She thought she was in love with him. But he broke her heart. Each time she thought he was gone, he came back. She cried in front of his friend. She fell for the friend. But he never said a word. She cried for the love never shared. He thought she cries for lost love. She stayed with old guy for she wanted to keep the friend. But friend never noticed.
He falls in love every month. Friend watches her and cries over love he never had. She mourns for love she can’t have.
This is the story of life.
September 21, 2009 § 2 Comments
Why is it that all of us are so obsessed with love stories? We are either busy trying to make one of our own or dissecting the ones our friends have or dreaming about having one or trying to sustain the one we have.
What is it that makes Love so attractive?
It’s just a high which hardly lasts more than few months. Yet we all crave it. We are ready to embrace all the pain we’ll get, just to feel good for few days..
What is it that you love about being in relationships or love stories??
For me, first few days of getting to know one another. The initial high, excitement – that does it. And the only ones where I have stayed are the ones which stayed exciting – in conversations and in silence.
Which one is your own favorite love story?
Are you waiting for it? or Are you still in it? or Are you done with it?
May 20, 2009 § 2 Comments
“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more”.
~~ Erica Jong in How to Save Your Own Life (1977)
May 4, 2009 § 4 Comments
This is written by a friend as an entry to a contest. I just loved the way it’s written. I’m sure even if you haven’t seen the movie, you would appreciate it. Big Thanks for letting me post it, Udai..
Sometimes love is not about a shared past, nor about prospects for a future. Sometimes love exists in transience – in the bittersweet moments of the present, whether it’s conversations over drinks, or songs sung in a karaoke bar, or in secrets that can only be told to strangers.
Bob, an actor forgotten in the US, married for years but at a static point in that relationship, is in Japan to shoot a commercial, when he meets Charlotte and they share such moments. Highly educated and beautiful, yet she is struggling for the attention of her photographer husband. They both meet in a hotel, and the chemistry is instantaneous. Rather than succumbing to this attraction though, they end up sharing an intimacy deeper than anything physical. Feelings, laughs, looks of unspoken understanding about lives dissimilar yet so similar. What they share are moments. These, at one level, seem far away from the mundane lives where their own respective spouses exist, yet when the two part ways, it seems these moments end up helping the two transcend what they are facing in those same lives.
A poignant story of such a transformation in the backdrop of the beautiful, alien world of Tokyo.