Really Really Random Stuff in my Head

February 17, 2012 § Leave a comment

Sometimes I wonder if we only want things that we want, because we see them on tv or read about them. The fact that you think you love me, is it really love that you feel? Or is it just a name given to certain emotion that movies have taught you to feel and want?
Why is it that I can think I am in love with certain person and yet want to be touched by another? Doesn’t that mean there’s nothing called love? Or am I just being emo?
I’m reading this novel right now. And of course, like another other novel these days, there is a sex scene. Two people clinging to each other out of desperation of loneliness. One thinking he’s in love, other just wanting to be touched. It reminds me of me.
Since when I became the person who just wants to be touched and doesn’t want to hear the words. Since when it became more important to be wanted than to want? Why can’t I give in to words and be happy with them? Why do I crave the illicit? When did I become so immoral?

You try to give me words, I throw them back
You try to send me flowers, I close the door
You ask me what’s wrong, I walk out.
And you wait.

Why do you wait?
Why when I can give you nothing?
You seek comfort from me, and I seek it somewhere else.
Ah, the life.

Walk away. Leave me be. Let me be lost for a while.
For til I lose myself, I won’t find myself again.


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