November 30, 2010 § Leave a comment
A friend once told me if your manager doesn’t like you, Quit. No point in changing teams or waiting for him/her to leave or waiting for things to get better. Because the feedback he/she will give for you, will stay with you throughout your time in that company. And it’s true. I’ve seen this happen with many people. Why is it so?
Here’s why – It’s the initial judgment/perception which gets passed on and then stays on. If a person gets a negative feedback about you, he/she has already formed an perception. And unless you manage to do something quite extra-ordinary, it’ll not change. Of course, you’ll never be entrusted with any important work because of this negative perception, so eventually, you can’t fight this perception. Hence, you are stuck in a loop.
And it’s not just about work. Look at your personal relationships. The moment, someone we trust, tells us something negative about another person, we form an opinion. And very rarely we give other person a chance to change that opinion.
It’s very sad in reality. Imagine the friends you are missing out on, because of some small issue between two other people.
Now same advice, the other way around. When meeting someone for the first time, put your best foot forward. They’ll remember you more and end up leaving with a good perception about you.
At work, when new, Work your ass off. Prove your worth. After 6 months, you can live off your laurels.
As someone said to me, people don’t have time to form or change opinions, they are ok with whatever is given to them.
So just make sure, whenever someone gives an opinion about you, it’s positive. (And that my friend, is the golden rule you should live by)
August 6, 2010 § 7 Comments
Yesterday, an interesting conversation happened with a colleague. She finds it annoying that most people in team don’t take her very seriously or don’t listen to her point of view completely. She’s not the first with this complain. Last time I heard this was with another team member who mentioned similar thing. Common thing with both is they joined our team as Freshers (fresh out of college). Somewhere down the road, while mentoring them, teaching them things, we formed an opinion that they are kids. Hence, are not very aware. After 2 years, we are not ready to change that opinion. They have grown in their roles. They are better than some seniors in certain things. But they are still patronized. One could handle it but other is an oldest child. Which means she’s treated as an adult most of the time at home. But at work, it’s always the patronizing attitude. She asked me what changes she could make, to change people’s opinion.
I couldn’t come up with an answer. It’s not about people’s opinion, it’s the perception. Most people form a perception based on input from others or due to some action of yours. And it sticks. Very rarely, you come across people who are willing to change their perception about you.
But once a child, always a child. Once a slacker, always a slacker.
It’s sad. Really. I’ve seen people work hard to improve on their bad habits. But we as a collective bunch, don’t bother to acknowledge the changes. We are too stuck up in our own personal thought jungle that we don’t want to change an iota.
Too Bad. For we are missing out on knowing a new person