Yet another rant of a desi girl

February 8, 2012 § 2 Comments

It started about two weeks back. One of our family friend’s son got married, and of course that depressed my mother. And like a true mother, she decided to take me to the task. So we had our first fight in a long time. It ended up in both being in tears. I understand her reasons. She’s being described as a bad mother by most of our relatives including my grand-mother for having such children. One married against family’s wishes and doesn’t visit them anymore. Other remains a spinster and has moved to a different country altogether. I should’ve been patient with her, But I wasn’t. I hated being blamed for doing what I think is right. And I hated the fact that I have to bear the brunt of anger towards my brother as well. I spent evening mostly being depressed about being such a disappointment as a daughter. Luckily it got better a day later. Scars were there, but healing.
Til it happened again last night. I tried to tell her that she shouldn’t say things like this. I knew she was hurting due to my brother’s recent lack of calls to her. He has always been her star and she can’t stand not talking to him. So we hurled words that we didn’t mean. We shed tears and stopped talking to each other again.
Now, no matter how much I try to understand it, I cannot grasp the concept of their happiness being related to my marital status. More so, because it’s always prompted by snide remarks of the relatives. Why do these relatives worry so much about my life? I know they don’t care about me. I doubt if anyone would give me their kidney, if required? So Why? Why as an Indian Society, we are so obsessed with marriages? Why does something has to be wrong with the girl and her up-bringing if she chooses to wait for her mr. right?
It’s not that I do no want to get married. I will. Maybe. Or maybe not. But whatever it will be, it will be on my own terms. I refuse to be tied by chains of tradition. Yes, it makes me depressed. Yes, it is the reason for my recent anxiety comeback. Yes, I end up in tears half the time. Yes, I feel guilty and responsible. But you know what? Even after all this, I refuse to give up. My life is not a game where you can place me anywhere as a pawn. If I have to spend rest of my life as a pariah, I will. If it means I die alone, surrounded by fishes, Let it be. At least it will be on my own terms and world can suck it.

After hour sunset

January 31, 2012 § 2 Comments

She closed the door and fell to the ground, tears streaming from her eyes.
She had thought it would be easy, it wasn’t.
They say it’s easy to be immoral, it’s not.
But why was she so sad?
Was it her own guilt for giving into temptation when she shouldn’t have? Does one feel this empty each time? Does it get easier? How do other people do it?
Do you just pretend nothing happened? Do you pretend to be mature about it and it goes away?

She thought about him. Wondered if he’s thinking of her or if he hates her now? Damn this morality. She could’ve been out shopping right now than to obsess over him.

Finally she got up. Took a shower and called her husband “Yeah. My meeting just got over. See you in 15 minutes”

Morning After

January 28, 2012 § 2 Comments

They sat across each other. Awkward silence. She was twisting her ring nervously. He didn’t know what to say to her. She didn’t either.
“Coffee”, she asked. “Oh yes, Thank you”, he replied.
Both wondering where the laughter from last night has gone. The passion, the urgency.

He looks at her and wonders “Was she really that funny last night?”
She’s thinking on similar lines “I could’ve sworn he looked younger.”

“So, any plans?”
“Yes, brunch with girls.” Relieved to be getting away.
“Nice. Have fun.”, Equally relieved.
They try to hug. More awkwardness. A passionless kiss.

“I’ll see you at mothers then.”
“OK. Don’t forget to pick up the wine.”

Indian parents and flexibility

May 29, 2010 § 13 Comments

In India, we grow up knowing the fact, we’ll have to get married. While we dream of a love marriage, our parents dream of an arranged one. With changing times, parents are changing as well. And older you get, more flexible they are.
Here are the stages parents go through with your age.

You are Below 22 – Its plain ‘No Love Marriage’ phase. Parents are usually like “No Love Marriage. You’ll marry the guy we choose for you”
You are around 24 – It’s Same caste Phase. They go like “We don’t care about love or arrange marriage, as long as guy is from same caste as ours.”
You are around 26 – It’s Caste No Bar phase. They change to “Hell with caste. As long as guy is from same religion as ours.”
You are around 28 – It’s Religion No Bar phase. They now tell you “As long as guy is Indian, we have no issues”
You have crossed 30 – It’s Nationality No Bar phase. Finally your parents have given up all hope. “Just get married. We want to see you settled. We don’t care who and from where.”

Sorry, You are slightly fat to be loved by my standards…

April 16, 2009 § 6 Comments

Recently I met this girl, extremely fun, intelligent n pretty as well. In fact, not even for once I wondered about her weight or looks. She mentioned she was just getting over this long-term relationship which recently ended. I didn’t bother to ask why they broke up and all. Well, I really don’t care about that and I had just met her, right. So, we hung around, had fun, said goodbyes, only to keep in touch via numerous social networking sites. So I saw her blog link and knowing her as little as I did, I was sure it would be a good read. In one of her posts, she mentioned the reason for break up.
And guess the reason, Guy wanted her to lose weight so she would become perfect.
Excuse me, wasn’t love supposed to make you perfect? Or was it that love overcomes all imperfection?
This girl doesn’t even qualify as fat. At max, she can enter the slightly plump round. And considering, it’s India, I would say thats the average figure, curvy & voluptuous.
Most importantly, since when weight is a criteria for marriage?
A funny, smart, beautiful girl needs to lose weight, so she can get married to the guy she’s in love with. Guy who professes his love every day. But he just thinks she can be perfect only after shedding those extra Kilos.
She took the right way and showed him the highway. (nice rhyme :P)
But not without the hurt and pain which comes after broken heart.

It hurts to see physical attribute coming in way of love. I thought Love was supposed to be above that. Atleast that’s what all quotes seem to say.
But if I just consider the romance on tv and novels, it’s always between good looking people. So yeah, maybe love is directly tied to your looks and weight.

I dun agree

March 18, 2009 § 4 Comments

with shaadi.com (Great Indian Matrimonial Site)
If you click on same gender profile, this is what you see Get in touch with XXXX – You cannot express interest in members of the same gender.”
How mean is this? So Had I been interested in same gender, they won’t help me in getting married? Do I have no dreams? Can’t I wish for my princess instead of Knight?
I’m sad and hurt for my other self in alternate reality who might be leaning towards girls.. Babe, you need to work on it yourself.

And I wonder..

September 3, 2008 § Leave a comment

Why is it that everytime a marriage goes wrong, girl is asked to compromise/behave/let Go of issues??
Why does everyone advises girl to keep quiet? Manage, Adjust and just forget about her identity?
Why does she has to leave her family and home?
And Why does she needs to rethink her priorities as per her new family?

At times, I wonder if it’s really worth it.

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