April 10, 2011 § 2 Comments
Easiest thing to do as a human being is to judge others. Each generation starts with a set of values and everyone is judged against this set. Go astray from this trail and 100 eyes follow you with disdain. So we play nice and stick to validated paths. How sad?
And it’s not just the older generation who passes on these judgments. We are equally responsible. We do it everyday, with everyone. Bad mother, slut on metro, irresponsible father!! How many of these labels did you pass in last one week? How many were really deserved? How many were based on your archaic idea of behavior?
I get it. It’s easy to put a label on a person without really getting to know her/him. And of course, it’s tax free. No one needs permission to do it. It provides cheap and easy entertainment. It also gives you a new topic to talk about.
But have you ever thought about the aftermath, the result? The fact that you just reinforced an idea that some of us have tried centuries to fight?
Worse are women. Labeling other women because of clothes, smoking habits? Really!!!
Colleague comments about a girl she saw in metro, who was openly displaying her bra straps. According to this colleague, that girl should’ve dressed appropriately and she was inviting men to molest her.
100yrs of women freedom!! This is what we have in the end. Someone fought for you to have right to vote. Someone fought, so you could be educated and treated equally. And you repay all that by repeating obsolete ideas, Making sure other women (like your friends/daughters) stay down. Shame on you. Right to be equal, to stand up on our own is Huge. Don’t throw it away just because society says women need to behave in certain manner. Stand up for yourself and other women.
January 21, 2011 § 2 Comments
Today I read a very interesting post. One line in that blog is haunting me, “And I cut myself”. As a teenager, I did things I’m not very proud of. I repeated them in 20s. Certain instances I have blocked from my memory. Many of friends have faced same. And They all were cries for Help. We looked around, found no one and resorted to hurting ourselves. Should we have done it? Of course Not. We were not smart or emotionally equipped to handle certain situations. And sadly, there was no one around to talk about it. Why?
Because, As a Society (Indian One), we look down on depression. We believe it’s an imaginary problem and doesn’t require any help. In some cases, maybe not. But in some cases, Yes, it’s needed.
Going to a psychologist or psychiatrist is not encouraged. Why not? Do we realize how many lives can be saved? Yes, we are Indians and we have families to help us. But not everything can be discussed with families and friends. And what if they are the reason?
What are we really afraid of? I tell you what. As Indians, we don’t like to let strangers know that we might have a problem at home. Nobody should realize that we might not be perfect. Nobody should be able to judge us. Dirty Laundry is not even acknowledged, let alone be aired. We are brilliant in denials. and We believe denial means problem doesn’t exist.
Can we somehow get over ourselves and start treating such problems as real problems? Can we please not call a person crazy just because he/she went to a psychiatrist? Can we please be open enough that our kids can ask us for help?
PS: I know all families are not like that. Sadly, most are. I myself suffer from Anxiety problems and if not for timely intervention by family and medical help, I might not be where I’m today. And that’s one of the reasons I’m so fascinated by Psychology as a field.
January 11, 2011 § Leave a comment
“You are not in touch with reality”, my parents told me last week.
While I can go on and on about their refusal to look beyond their reality, I realized there’s a grain of truth in it. After spending certain years in IT industry or any specific industry (esp the one that pays well), your view about life becomes very limited. And not just us, it’s true about kids studying in certain urban cities and colleges too.
We don’t know real world. We complain about government policies, road conditions, long queues. But that’s about it. We don’t even know which policy is actually needed and which is not. How many of us are concerned that onion is selling for 80 Rs a Kilo today. Yes, it was a headline and that was about it. Are we affected? No. We are the generation that spends 500/-on coffee for two. How can a small vegetable make dent in our life style?
And it’s not just about cost/value of things. It’s also about how you look at certain things. For an IT professional like me, everything should be accessible via net. I can virtually live off internet. Shop, order food, chat, read, watch movies. Everything I need is here.
I forget at times that most people are not this comfortable with internet. I once dated a Doctor, whose idea of internet was to use hotmail and research work stuff. That was it. He had no idea about youtube and he wasn’t interested either. For me, it was a surprise that anyone can be that unaware about internet. For him, it was a reality.
People have different views about money too. While I cannot imagine not having perfect bag or perfect watch, most people are really not that much concerned with perfectness than they are with price. I used to get upset (still do at times) when people would try to skimp on few bucks or argue why they should pay certain amount. I never understood why one should worry about few 100 bucks when you earning in 5 figures. But, then again, it’s the way you look at money. For someone like me, it’s a mean to an end. For someone else, it’s the end.
Now here’s the big question. Whose demand/requirement is more important? And how can we bridge the gap between people, if we can?
I try to be less judgmental now(yes, it’s hard). But I still can’t relate to so many things and people.
Will I ever be able to?
August 22, 2010 § 2 Comments
Everytime someone complains about Mr. Kalmadi, I feel sorry for him. What did he do that was so wrong? Aren’t we the one who chose this government? Didn’t we say ‘sab chalta hai’? Don’t we support corruption every day and every where? So he stretched the limit. But this is the new century, no? Where everyone pushes the boundary?
For 50 years, we sat and watched integrity go down. We saw corruption rise to the levels that it started controlling the nation, instead of nation controlling it. We don’t even blink on mention of bribe. However, we do get surprised when we see someone being honest.
We gave Kalmadi right to do everything he wanted. Indirectly or directly, that’s a different issue. But we gave rise to people like him. We gave him and the likes of him the idea that they can get away with everything. We did, no one else.
So don’t complain about state of things, this is what you get for years of closed eyes. Go ahead and bribe that cop giving you a fine for jumping the traffic light. While you are at it, don’t forget to brag about saving 200 bucks on all social networking sites. We’ll like that update too.
July 26, 2010 § Leave a comment
Knock on the window,
Old man looks on
tattered and battered
He smiles and shows magazine
I nod my head saying no
He pulls out another one
He urges and urges
I give in.
At home, Mom shakes her head
Add it to the recycle pile
July 2, 2010 § Leave a comment
Yes, it is. The ones who can afford Air-conditioners always complain about summers. The ones buying expensive leather overcoats will complain about winter. No one will ever care about the guy on road side who died because of heat or cold. Why should we? After all, it’s not our fault he’s in such situation.
Why can’t he take shelter in some warm place for winters or drink some water in summers? So what if clean water is a luxury afforded to few. So what if no warm places exists for poor. So what we really don’t want to know about it?
It’s monsoon time again. It’s time when we complain about humidity and worry about shoes in mud. And it’s time when poor families struggle for plastic sheets, so that their house can stay dry.
Weather which is universal and is not owned by anyone, is only for people who can afford it. With the divide between classes increasing, don’t you think it’s unfair that a person who can’t even afford 2 times meal now needs to worry about weather as well?
We are the ones increasing carbon imprint, supporting companies like coca-cola, wasting electricity and water. Yet the ones who suffer in end is someone else – Someone who doesn’t really care about global warming or gm food, someone who just wants to get through each day alive.
We are murderers. Each time, there’s a news about someone dying due to extreme weather, look at yourself in mirror and count in how many ways you contributed to it.
There’s still time. Stop. Help others. Help nature. Let’s get humanity on track.
PS: yeah yeah. I sound too preachy. 😦 But atleast I’m taking baby steps. what about you?