Bridal Blues

October 27, 2013 § 1 Comment

45 days til I get married.

Last time I posted, it was about the Cancer news. S has been dealing well with it. There was a bit of hiccup on the way when we were told chemo wasn’t working as expected. So new treatment and life goes on. 

Isn’t it amazing that amidst all, the thing that I stress most about is our wedding? It’s going to be a intercultural wedding. West meets Indian. And we are not there to plan it. Though it’s been good for us. My parents have been taking care of everything, involving us in decisions and then doing what they want to do. Yup, instead of me being bride-zilla, we have my parents doing that. The hardest part was when my mother announced that she has ordered my wedding dress. I almost had a melt-down. After few heated Skype conversations, few mails to the designer and we have it sorted now.

So, all we have to do is show up, finish off the shopping and voila, married. 



Well done, Universe

May 7, 2013 § 5 Comments

This easter I got engaged. Exciting, Yes? It would be easier to think that all I have done since then is to celebrate. I did celebrate. For a week.

Then things started to go wrong. Fiancé got sick and wouldn’t get better. This led to tests. Tests led to spinal surgery. Few nights at the hospital and all was well. Or so we thought. Last week, during his doctor’s appointment, we found out that he has cancer and he need to have treatment asap. I think I went into some sort of semi-coma. We were there to hear everything was alright. He was doing so well after the surgery. We were not ready to hear bad news. ‘Take it away’, I wanted to scream. We held each other and came home. I wanted to be angry at him. At me. At the doctors. For two nights, I cried myself to sleep. While he, who in fact is the patient, held me and wiped my tears. I walked around feeling like a zombie. Then somehow we got back to our routine life. Planning wedding. Reception. Engagement Party. All the frivolous stuff.

Sometimes everything is normal. We are planning holidays, watching movies, just being us. Then you are given this bad news. You wonder if it’s some sort of punishment? Is it because I’m not a big believer in god? Is it because we were being too happy? Are we jinxed somehow? Did someone curse us? You sit there and come up with all sorts of stupid reasons. Because this f***** doesn’t make sense.

I should be grateful for all the support from family, work, and friends. I’m not. I don’t want to be. Because I don’t want to be in this situation. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t want to talk about it. How does one deal with such feelings of helplessness?

His chemo starts next week. We don’t know if it’ll work. No one knows. We also booked our reception venue.

New hopes, New dreams

January 15, 2013 § 2 Comments

It’s been a year and half since I moved to Melbourne. In this brief time, I have seen heartbreak, loneliness, challenges, joy, adventures, love and so much more. 

I spent years trying to break out from the mold set out for me. I did. Successfully and Happily,  not without its casualties though. I would never know if it was this rebel that led to heartbreak, or something else. I continue to be a disappointing child. In fact, I have raised the level of disappointment by falling in love with the most inappropriate boy. But I’m happy. I guess that’s the cost you pay.

I spent new year’s eve in a Temple at Kyoto. It wasn’t peaceful at all, contrary to what you might think. However I was surrounded by love. That makes me happy. 

I’ve thinking of new challenges. I’ll be finishing my Psych Diploma this year. And I don’t want to pursue it further. Mostly because I have found new dreams. They mostly include more travel. I haven’t been to the other side of the world. I need to see it all. It’s on the recent trip to Japan I realized that traveling is the only thing I want to do, apart from reading books all day. So Work, Save and Travel it’s going to be. With a mortgage somehow 🙂

Long Due Post

October 31, 2012 § Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I last blogged. It’s not that I didn’t want to blog all this while. I have all these posts sitting in the draft folder that never saw light of the day. 

So what have I been up to? 

I went to Tasmania in June. I visited family in India in June/July. I’m going to Japan in December.

I’ve more than enough responsibilities at work. I don’t understand why people want to get in the management. It’s just pain in ass. Keeping track of what other people are doing just gives you less time to do what you want to do. Anyway, Work’s been ok.

I might be failing this semester, or not. Exams next week, if I get time to study… Ah well. Never mind. It’s still fun though.

I’ve moved out on my own. While it’s lonelier, it’s also more fun. I like my new place. I get to decorate it the way I want. It’s fun. 

Overall, it’s a good life. There are still people who are really annoying. But then again, what can we do about them except to shoot them, maybe?

Playing Tag

March 5, 2012 § 2 Comments

Tag time. I was tagged by An Avenue to Vent, thank you!!


1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Here are the answers set by An Avenue to Vent:
1. Did you ever imagine your life would turn out the way it is right now?
No. And I’m glad it didn’t.

2. How do you drink your coffee?
Long Black with Half water/Half skinny Milk (Yes, I drive new baristas mad)

3. Why did you start your blog?
No Idea. If I count my old blog (which was deleted few years back), I’ve been now blogging for almost 7-8 yrs. Whoa.

4. There was once a moment when you thought “damn I should’ve done that!” What was that moment?
Every day.
Each time, I see an amazing painting, I wish I had taken time to focus on painting when I wasn’t very bad at it. Same goes for almost everything creative.
Also, whenever I see Indiana Jones, I go “Damn, I should’ve done a degree in Archaeology”

5. If I wrote you a cheque for $1 million, how would you spend it?
Books, Makeup, Food, House, Uni fee for next 10 years, World Travel (And then if something is left, I’ll give it away or maybe open up few schools/libraries in India)

6. Where in the world do you want to be right now?
Now this is a question that I always answer with “Beach”. But honestly, While I do want to take a vacation on a beach, I would not be anywhere else but in this city at the moment.

7. Who was your first kiss?
My first boyfriend from high-school days.

8. Past-time?
Books, Movies, sitcoms, bars, Library, coffee shops, embroidery, Camera (Whatever takes my fancy)

9. What’s one thing you can’t live with out?

10. Where will you be in your life in 5 years?
Hopefully still in Melbourne, with life in a decisive direction.

11. Have the last ten questions made you ponder about your life?
Yes. Little bit. I’m still surprised that I don’t want to be anywhere else. That’s a sign of content life. Weird.

Now, Tagging time. Feel free to consider yourself tagged. I’m going to tag only 3 people in particular. (Oh, If you did do the tag, let me know)

Q1. If you could have any author to write your life story, who would it be?
Q2. What will you save in event of fire – Books, DVDs, Musical instruments, Clothes, Shoes?
Q3. If life gives you oranges…
Q4. If given a chance, would you live your life differently?
Q5. Regrets or Experiences?
Q6. Define Politics in one word.
Q7. Would you rather give money to charity or volunteer?
Q8. Do you ever wonder about existence of god/gods?
Q9. Would you rather keep quiet and have peace or speak up your mind and have an argument?
Q10.Are you planning your next vacation? To where?
Q11.What is it that you wish for right now?

Older, but not Wiser

December 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

Another year gone by. And what a year it was. From Heartbreaks to life changes, it had everything in it. I live such a soap-opera life.
Here’s a recap:
– I moved to a new continent.
– I’m back in school.
– Boy broke my heart. yet again. And in million pieces. You would think by now I will be wiser to it.
– Personal crisis in family. We are still coming to terms with it.
– Knee problem is finally diagnosed. And while I go through the pain each week, It does mean less ankle/leg mishaps in long run.
– I now have an enviable collection of OPI nail paints. (One girlie point has to be there)
– I also belong to apple slave category now. Phone, Laptop, iPod – yup they got me. One shiny gadget at a time.

And to top it all, few hours before my birthday I met Neil Gaiman. He not only signed my books and let me have a pic with him, he also liked my T-shirt and wrote Happy Birthday on one book. How awesome is that?

I’m still in fangirl heaven and it’s been 2 days :))

There were disappointments, of course. But I think at the start of new year, I’ll just ignore them or forget them if I can.

Here’s to me. Hopefully, one day I’ll be wiser.

Festival Blues

October 24, 2011 § 4 Comments

I love festivals. Not because of any religious inclinations or significance, But because of the cheeriness they bring along. Most festivals in India demand family presence. So if you stay away from home, it is a good excuse to spend time with the family. Of course, shopping for the new clothes, gifts, decorated homes and markets – all of these things just add to the fun. In last 30 years, I’ve spent only 1 Diwali away from home and what a depressing time that was. Now it is time to do it again.
To everyone unfamiliar with Diwali, I explain it as North-Indian Christmas. Family Dinners, Lights everywhere, gifts exchanging. It’s almost the same 🙂 Why North-Indian, not just Indian? Well, because most south-Indians I know do not celebrate it. They think it is all about crackers and fireworks. No, it’s not. It’s been more than 10 years since anyone in my family has burst crackers. But that doesn’t mean we don’t celebrate it. Or that we are doing something wrong. Crackers are add-ons. Use them or not – your wish. Same goes for Card-playing. In lot of families, it is a custom. Not in mine.
But I digress. So to make sure I do not fall into Festival-without-family depression, I decided to invite friends over for dinner. Yup, Yours truly is cooking for 10+ people. Of course, That itself is a major stress inducer.
However, Never mind that family is far-off. Never mind that no new clothes for festivities. Never mind that this year there will not be any gift. Never mind that food won’t be as awesome as home. Never mind that there won’t be any sweets. I’ll celebrate it in my own style. I’ll create a new Diwali custom while retaining the essence of it.
So Happy Diwali everyone.

Where Am I?

You are currently browsing the General category at All I have is a Dream...