You want a Men’s Day, Go ahead

March 9, 2012 § 3 Comments

Every second day, there is at least one post on facebook disparaging women, usually in form of jokes. Some are funny, some are not. But always there, in your face. Then on International Women’s Day, the number of such posts multiplies. There are few about how there is no men’s day or some way of saying men have it worse. It pisses me off. Yes, it’s a joke. I get it. But do you get it? It’s the jokes like this which keeps sexism alive. It’s your funny comment which keeps problems faced by women under wraps or be made trivialized.
You want a men’s day. Go ahead, Have it. I just want to be safe. Promise me there will be no rape. Promise me I won’t be beaten up by my boyfriend or husband. Promise me I won’t be killed in the womb itself, just because I’m a girl. Promise me I won’t be patronized at work because of my gender.
You can’t promise any of this. All you can do is to show me the respect I deserve. So how about you start showing it? Humor is good, humor is fun. But when humor leads to more stereotyping, maybe you need better subjects/topics.
As a woman, I don’t want an International Women’s Day. I don’t want reservations. I don’t want any special treatment. I feel sad that we still need to have it. All I ask is for equality. Ability to lead my life as I choose to. Be treated with respect. Is it really so much to ask?

Little bit of everything

January 30, 2012 § 2 Comments

Nostalgia.
A feeling I have in abundance these days.
Contempt.
What I feel towards you now.
Love.
Something that always lifts me up.
Indifference.
To the plight of the poor.
Adoration.
The look he gives when I arrive.
Disgust.
Towards the everyday news.

I can like Guns and He can like Pink

January 23, 2012 § 2 Comments

It’s common knowledge that I hate stereotypes. And to add credibility to my hate, there are studies which show how often we base our decisions on them (mostly wrong). One of the things I have noticed recently is the Gender Stereotyping. Of course, I have been reading about it and have outraged on certain occasions. My reputation for most annoying idealist feminist is not without a reason.
Did you know that each time you tell your child that pink is for girls and boys don’t cry, you create those stereotypes. Not just create them, when you teach your child that liking pink is not right for a boy, You create guilt feelings for life that are associated with a freaking color. Why? Don’t you think there are enough things in life for a child to worry about rather than the thought that somehow liking a color or a toy is wrong.
And to think, the feelings are so ingrained that I once made fun of a teammate for wearing pink shirt. As an adult, shouldn’t I know that it’s just a color and anyone is free to like it? When did girls patent pink and boy patent guns? We don’t even think twice by reinforcing such stereotypes.
We talk about gender equality. But how can we have it if we are still using century old stereotypes. I have always been good at maths. But that’s supposed to be an exception. Why? I think it’s result of education. It was my father’s love of maths that led him to teach me, in turn my being good at it. Yes, some differences are inherent in our biology. But if a boy wants to cry, that’s part of his biology too. When will we learn to treat our kids in the same way? Girls can like Guns and Boys can like Pink without being labeled as abnormal. Let’s take it from there and hope real equality follows.

So who are you today?

November 28, 2011 § 4 Comments

Sometimes I forget which stereotype I’m playing. There are so many.
At work, I’m the Indian Girl. With some Indian people, I’m the North-Indian Girl. With North-Indians, I’m the Delhi Girl.
At Uni, I’m the IT girl. At IT dept, I’m the Psych Girl.
With some acquaintances, I’m the Snob. With some friends, I’m the out-of-control girl.
Fun fact is I’m probably all of those and yet none of those.

You cannot define me by a stereotype that got passed down by some ignorant schmuck. You will have to make an effort and get to know me before trying to fit me in a box.
It’s possible I might use some similar stereotype. Remind me of my mistake. Fascinate me. Make me get to know you. Be it a boy or girl.
Make people get to know you. Get to know people. Most of us are fun. (And if somehow you are in the bracket that I ignore, either I am unaware of it or you are just not fun)

What historical event would you attend if you were able to time travel?

September 5, 2011 § Leave a comment

I love these random post ideas from WordPress.
So which event would I attend?
My patriotic self says Independence Eve of India. So I could tell those buggers, Choose better government. Don’t agree to partition. Kill all of Nehru’s descendants. (Trust me, we would be in better place if all three happened)
My Arty side says (Yes I have one) When sistine was being painted. Or when Van Gogh was dying so I could tell him how famous he has become. And he would die happy. or maybe live from happiness
My geeky side says When first flight was taken.
My feminist side says when women were allowed to vote. (not that we have done anything good with the right)

I do have more sides (who knew!) that would want to visit some other events.. Maybe I’ll update it later

Corruption, Democracy and Hunger Strike

September 2, 2011 § 2 Comments

Every movement has its high point and its low point. To make it successful, I would imagine we want average to be closer to high point rather than the low one.
One of the recent movements in India was against Corruption. If you have read my blog before, you know where I stand. Sadly it’s a movement which reached its’ peak pretty quickly, but I doubt if average result is even closer to middle. While everyone jumped aboard, How many started following it?
India against Corruption is an awesome movement, no doubt. It was high time that something was done about it. But the way we went about it, was it the right approach? My argument has always been that it’s our fault. Each time you pay a cop to get away from a fine, you add to statistics. You raise the average. Each time, you brag about it, you make it attractive, something worth doing.
Now the argument given by lot of people is that Corruption starts from Top. If you clean the top, bottom will cleanse automatically. Basically what you are telling me is, You want corruption to go away as long as someone else cleans it up, not you.
Then the whole Anna Drama. I support the cause. I agree corruption needs to go away. But is a Hunger-strike the only way to do it? If you can blackmail government by just a hunger-strike, what does it mean for democracy? Should a terrorist be allowed to go free tomorrow, because some people can do hunger strike on his behalf? How can I relate the two, you ask? Well, Because in principal, they are same. You cannot turn blind eye to one thing and not another. It’s a classic black and white situation. Either government can be blackmailed or it cannot be. There’s no gray area that on some causes it can be and on some it cannot. Sorry doesn’t work that way.
All I ask is stop asking government to do things for you. Start doing them yourself. Ask questions at every level. Choose your representatives wisely. Play Devil’s advocate each time. There’s no way corruption can survive if you remove it from roots. Bring Honesty back in vogue.
So, in nutshell, I’ll continue to not pay bribe to anyone. But I’ll not attend your hunger strike or support it.

Crazy little thing called Love

July 2, 2011 § 4 Comments

Love is hard. Not because it involves kissing 100 frogs before you find your prince. Or because most of the times, that prince is already with his princess or likes princes rather than princesses. But because it always involves pain.
Not just when it ends. But even when you are with the person you are in love with. Every emotion is so intensified that silly things hurt you. Like a call not returned. A cancelled date. If it’s a normal relationship, you’ll take them in stride. But when in love, you always jump to worst conclusions. No wonder, one of the two start acting like a neurotic person.
And god forbid, if it ends. It’s as if someone just pierced your heart with a stake. over and over again. You see a happy couple and you burst in tears. You are watching a movie and you burst in tears. You become the person to be avoided. Your friends are scared to tell you about their new relationships.
And cause of all this is love.
So be careful when you fall in love. Retain some sense. Be careful that you are not being the neurotic of two. Trust in each other and in fate. If you belong together, you’ll end up together.

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