Sometimes you don’t need words

February 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

It was a beautiful day. Perfect for the beach. She was soaking sun and giggling at the book in hand.
“Can you pass me the sunscreen?”, he said.
She did and went back to her book.
An hour later.
“Can I have some soda?”, she asked.
He obliged and went back to his book.

Soon, it was evening, too dark to read. They got up, brushed sand off their bodies, dressed and packed up.
“It was the best date ever.”, she exclaimed.
“Yes, we should do it again soon”, he agreed.

6 months later, they married.

Lies and more lies

February 13, 2012 § Leave a comment

She waited for him fiddling with her dress, practicing the words in her head. Today is the day she will tell him. He arrived, happy to see her, ready to take her away from everyone. She tried to get words out, But his kiss wouldn’t let her. Defeated, with a sigh, she slid in to the car seat. She listened to him talk about his work day. She nodded and agreed at the right points. They reached the destination. He had decided to show her the town. Doesn’t matter if she has seen it before.
He took her to lunch, followed by her favorite desserts. She kept that smile on her face. They walked on the beach. Hand in hand. His arms engulfed her. She felt like a cheat.
From a balcony above, a guy stared at her. She moved to another corner. Those eyes still followed her. They pierced her soul and knew the game she was playing. He knew her lies and he could see through the fake smile. She ignored him and smiled at the man on her arm. He leaned in for a kiss. She let him. And then just like that, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Take me home”, she pleaded. Puzzled, he complied.
Through the way back, she babbled unable to forget those eyes. And just like that, they were home. She cursed herself for not saying the words. She had practiced enough, after all.
She went inside. “I have a headache. I’m going to bed now.” “Ok. I’ll be there in few minutes”

After hour sunset

January 31, 2012 § 2 Comments

She closed the door and fell to the ground, tears streaming from her eyes.
She had thought it would be easy, it wasn’t.
They say it’s easy to be immoral, it’s not.
But why was she so sad?
Was it her own guilt for giving into temptation when she shouldn’t have? Does one feel this empty each time? Does it get easier? How do other people do it?
Do you just pretend nothing happened? Do you pretend to be mature about it and it goes away?

She thought about him. Wondered if he’s thinking of her or if he hates her now? Damn this morality. She could’ve been out shopping right now than to obsess over him.

Finally she got up. Took a shower and called her husband “Yeah. My meeting just got over. See you in 15 minutes”

Morning After

January 28, 2012 § 2 Comments

They sat across each other. Awkward silence. She was twisting her ring nervously. He didn’t know what to say to her. She didn’t either.
“Coffee”, she asked. “Oh yes, Thank you”, he replied.
Both wondering where the laughter from last night has gone. The passion, the urgency.

He looks at her and wonders “Was she really that funny last night?”
She’s thinking on similar lines “I could’ve sworn he looked younger.”

“So, any plans?”
“Yes, brunch with girls.” Relieved to be getting away.
“Nice. Have fun.”, Equally relieved.
They try to hug. More awkwardness. A passionless kiss.

“I’ll see you at mothers then.”
“OK. Don’t forget to pick up the wine.”

Equality and Guys..

March 14, 2011 § 3 Comments

This one is for guys – How many of you were always told to open the door for ladies? or empty seat for them? How many of you still do so? what about paying for dinner? How many believe a guy should pay?
These are strange times. The values/teachings that we grew up with are probably not so valid anymore. As we go more and more closer to much-discussed equality of sexes, such lessons get blurry.
As someone recently pointed out to me, why should a guy pay for the date? or give up seat for a girl?
Maybe I’m old fashioned. Yes, I’m independent and blah blah. However, I still believe a guy should give up his seat for a lady. It’s just common courtesy. Is it biased? Yes. Should it be abolished? I don’t know. This is something which was taught in my house since we were kids. Guys do not hit girls. Guys shouldn’t be sitting if a girl is standing. Maybe with all the talk of equality, I shouldn’t ask for this. Maybe.
Same goes for a dinner. On first date, I expect the guy to pay. Of course, I’ll offer to share the bill. (To be frank, If I don’t plan to go on second date with him, I’ll insist and definitely will pay my share) But somehow if the guy agrees to share or let me take care of the bill without much resistance, he loses points with me. Again, being old fashioned. But don’t you think there’s a charm to letting a guy be a guy?
One of my ex had a thing about dropping me off to my door. He would climb up 4 floors with me, just to see me open the door and get inside. Another one would wait downstairs til I call him from house and tell him I’m safely inside (1 floor only)
These examples look silly. But to me, they meant these guys cared. They took their protective side bit seriously, of course. Then again, do you see me talking about anyone else I dated? To this date, it remains one of the nicest things they did for me.
What does it mean then? With all the talk about independence and feminism, I’m somehow still bit old fashioned.
So while I expect to be treated as an equal, I also want to be treated like a girl. No wonder, guys find it so tough.
They have to be everything now. And worse part is not everyone appreciates old-fashioned courtesies. Some girls scoff at guys who open door for them. Some scoff at ones who didn’t do so. Poor guys. My sympathies are with you.

Words and laughter

March 9, 2011 § 2 Comments

When we met, We parried with words day and night
That’s what got us closer
made me charming to you, and you to me.

Now that we have been together so long,
we still parry with words
but the laughter is gone from them
it’s what I hate about you, you about me.

Where did we lose the laughter?
Did you notice?
Was it when I ignored you for days
or was it when you forgot me in nights…

How do we go on without it?
Do you know?
Can you tell me?
And will you notice when I’m gone?
I don’t know if I will.

New relationship or still in Old one?

March 8, 2011 § 1 Comment

Have you noticed how we remember people by specific instances? Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
e.g Most people will only remember bad things about their ex. Or only good things about old friends who somehow got lost with time..
Why is it so hard to be objective about past? Why do we always need to be judgmental about it?
And even if we are being judgmental, why can’t we ever let go of it?
Each time one gets into a new relationship, the expectations are derived from the old one. Good things that last guy did, sets the bar for new guy. Bad things makes you wary of similar habits in new guy. Poor new guy, most of the time he doesn’t have a chance.
Why is it that we forget to let go of this baggage before jumping into anything new?

So each time, you do something nice for me, I’m comparing you to the guy who did more..
Each time you ignore me, I’m comparing you to the one who hurt me..
Each time you make a promise to me, I think of the broken ones.
Don’t blame yourself, you never stood a chance.
For I was already out, even before I got in..

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