October 21, 2010 § Leave a comment
The day my mom was admitted in hospital, she cooked my favorite dish in morning. Just because night before I was complaining about dinner. First thing she asked after coming out of operating theater was about my dad, if he’s doing ok. Such are Moms. Even when they are not well, they are thinking about their family.
I see so many women around me who quietly go on, making sure everything runs smoothly at home, everything is covered at work. Hardly anyone stops and notices them. Of course, culture in West is different. Husbands are supposed to help out. But, not in India. It’s a woman’s job to take care of children. Yes, things are changing. But not as fast as we would like them to be.
But of course, there are exceptions. Some women do make sure you acknowledge their effort even though it’s bare minimum. From what I’ve seen, the ones complaining about so much to do are the ones hardly doing anything. Don’t get me wrong, maybe I’m generalizing too much. But that’s the feeling I get from knowing all these women. Then there are real ‘silent warriors’ who make sacrifices without a word.
My closest friend chose to quit and stay at home, so she can take care of her daughter. Lot of people didn’t like it. Giving up, they said. What about so many other mothers, they asked. Few months down the line, you can see the difference. She’s happier. Her daughter is happier and Healthier, More confident. She doesn’t have to apologize for wanting to be a good mother. It’s all about priorities, you see.
A colleague skips lazying around in the morning to reach work well before others, so she can leave early and spend quality time with her daughter. Everyday she does it. And I’ve never heard her complain. Again, priorities. She actually makes sure she gets to spend time with her daughter than complain about lack of time.
Another friend relies on her nanny and is unapologetic. After all, it takes a strong person to admit you can’t do everything. In her words, “I know I can’t do it alone. And if I can afford it, why not take help?” You’ll never hear her whine at work about how her time is all about her son and is so difficult to manage the two (work and family).
These are 3 completely different personalities, and managing in way they think is best.
But then there are females who claim their child is most important to them and yet, they don’t hesitate to ignore that child to get brownie points at work. Then, there are ones who complain about cooking at home and then bark orders at maid about cutting vegetables, kneading dough etc etc (As another friend said, if someone else will do all preparatory work, I’m ready to cook daily). Issue I have with such people is ‘Nobody asked you to do this. Want to spend time with child. Leave early. Quit. Do whatever gets things done. Don’t want to cook. Get a maid. Don’t tell us how hard your life is. We have our own set of problems.’
Ok, I digress. The whole point was ‘Don’t toot your own horn, Just go ahead and do what you want to’ (without blaming world for it)
Your child knows and when he/she’s 30, they’ll thank the stars for such a wonderful mom 🙂 (before that they might be rebelling)