The Coward Me
August 4, 2010 § 7 Comments
I portray a nice image out there. I’m the strong confident woman who’s much at peace with her life.
Is it really true?
I’m a coward at heart. I cannot really venture out in unknown. I can go to all the places in world without any idea of what’s in store for me. But I cannot take paths in life which have any amount of uncertainty.
I like to pretend I’m such an idealist. But in reality, I can never quit everything and go to the basics. I admire the people who do, yet I sit in a comfortable AC office and write this.
I dream of alternative careers but because I know I might fail in them, I refuse to try them.
In my professional life, I can never go and discuss with my superiors when I feel they are not acknowledging my work. I can’t even ask for a raise. And to think, I can argue with almost anyone on street.
In my personal life, I prefer dating people with whom I know I’ll never end up. And if by some sheer chance, I meet a person, I might end up, I make sure they see a exaggerated mean/whiny/bitchy side of me, so they don’t want to end up with me. It’s not that I don’t want to commit. It’s the fear of unknown.
Now that I’ve figured out the pattern, next step is to remedy this issue.
Let’s see if I can manage something.