What have you learned from your past n present relationships?

April 1, 2009 § 6 Comments

Today I found an interesting mail in my inbox, asking me to jot down all my learning from past relationships.. Now I could’ve just sent this as reply but thought it would make a rather interesting post.. And instead of all, I’ll jot top 10.. I think they collectively cover a lot
So here’s what I’ve learned in past decade..
1. Never take anyone for granted and Never let anyone take you for granted.
2. Never let anyone dictate your life and Never dictate someone else’s life.
Its just so easy to fall in these patterns. And one day you wake up realizing you’ve lost respect for the other or yourself.
3. Be honest.
Its better to lose a relationship in beginning than later because you fudged few things.
4. Be open about each others hang-ups.
We all have some. Accept them and if you can’t, discuss them.
5. Be supportive, at all times.
It’s one thing to agree with a decision, another to support your partner through a bad one. If they want to listen to your told-you-so, they can as well go, visit their parents.
6. Never ever disrespect each other’s families. But if there’s a genuine problem, discuss with your partner before taking an action.
Fine, they are as nice as you would like them to be. But still respect them. However, make sure this doesnt mean your losing your self-esteem.
7. Respect each other’s space and boundaries.
8. Don’t get jealous over small things. For big things, tell your partner what’s bothering you and why.
9. Don’t patronize them.
You can’t keep on treating the other person as child all the time.
10. Don’t lose the laughter.
The day you stop laughing together is the day you doom your relationship

So for me the key has been communication. Most of the times, things ended ‘coz we were not listening to each other, just hearing what we wanted to.

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§ 6 Responses to What have you learned from your past n present relationships?

  • brinda says:

    I wanted to add one more thing…
    Trust does not happen. It has to be built. People maybe in love, but end of the day they are 2 different individuals and its not possible for one to get into the minds of the other and understand things. It does not help when you sit lip tight, hands folded and expect people to trust you just because they are in love. There can be love at first sight, but there is never trust at first sight.

    • Another Dreamer says:

      Totally Agree… Very true n Profound, Brindz..
      Trust is ultimately what keeps people together in long haul…

  • brinda says:

    And I see we all make the same mistakes. Esp point 3 in the comment above is something both hari n me need to learn! πŸ™‚

    • Another Dreamer says:

      Thats’ life darlin’… all are same yet all claim they are diff.. And yeah abt pt 3 in comment above.. very true.. definitely watch out the flirting.. tell him i’ll beat him up if he does sumthng stupid πŸ˜›

  • Eric Wilde says:

    Good list. I like #10. Very important. The theme here, open communication, is definitely right for me as well.

    If I were to add the married person’s addendum:

    1. Make sure you pay attention to your partner and spend time with them.
    2. Kids take away a lot from your relationship. Make sure your relationship can handle it before you get pregnant.
    3. Its OK to flirt with others; but, its really not worth going further. And be choosy about flirting so that you know the subject of your attention realizes its just flirting. Find out very early and explicitly if your new friend realizes there is nothing serious behind it.
    4. Don’t drink too much on business trips.

    • Another Dreamer says:

      Lol for pt 4.. I would say dun do it evn whn u r out wd boys/girls sans ur partner πŸ˜›
      I like your addendums.. ll remember them.. esp pt 3.. i need to work on that a bit πŸ˜›

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